Chapter IX - Reading 2

The saga continued to unfold until Flindra realized she was witnessing the lives of King Meldh and Queen Kwenth. She saw their valiant but futile struggle against the Ansu. Their heroic courage was a source of inspiration and great pride. Flindra drew the memory close to her heart for she knew it would give her strength against some future time when her own courage might fail her.

Back in time she went and her sense of kinship grew to include those far beyond the history she had known. She shared life with them and felt a growing relationship with all humankind.

She saw the lives of the ones called the Ancients and she looked upon the history of their empire. Flindra glimpsed their wisdom, which had disappeared from the world when the empire collapsed. There was much good here, but there was a streak of black, of evil, discoloring their wisdom. This was the clue she needed to understand the demise of their civilization.

The Ancients' thirst for knowledge had caused them to seek sources of power that brought them closer and closer to the Ansu and away from the benevolence of the Spirit. They had not understood the gravity of their actions for the Darkness lied to them and seduced them into thinking they had discovered the source of life. Their quest for everlasting life brought them to the realm of the Void. The Darkness had consumed them and had brought about their destruction.

Nomads ruled the world before the time of the Ancients. Extended family groups competed against each other for power and territory. The chaos gave Flindra a better understanding of why a strong central government was a vast improvement over the tribal system, which wasted valuable life to the feud.

The review of history brought her ever closer to the beginning of her world and the glorious moment when the Spirit had breathed Order into the Chaos. It was here that she finally brushed against the Presence of the Spirit. The sensation was so overwhelming it was almost painful and she withdrew.

Flindra realized the pain wasn't hurtful in the sense of a wound. It was a pain brought on from the magnitude, the overwhelming, awesome, closeness to the Spirit. It was similar to looking at sunshine reflected on a snowy landscape, without protecting her eyes a person could end up snow-blind. There was just too much sensation to cope with.

She also knew in her heart of hearts that she must probe this contact further, that here was the source of knowledge she needed to fulfill her destiny. She needed to push through the pain, which was, in a sense, a barrier to the knowledge.

Gathering her courage, she pressed her mind against the barrier. For the briefest moment, there was nothing; then her mind was totally overwhelmed and pain erupted like countless exploding suns. She drew back and hesitated. She didn't doubt the Absolute Benevolence of the Spirit, but she grew afraid of the incomprehensible magnitude of the Presence and doubted her worthiness to continue.

She hesitated but knew she had been called. She must proceed.

Flindra forced her mind back into the searing pain and was carried away by the torrent of overwhelming sensation. She again had to retreat.

How was she to succeed at this trial?

"Dear Spirit," she prayed. "You have brought me here and I feel a deep understanding that I need to push forward. How can I do this? Please guide me."

She quieted her mind in hopes of receiving some answer.

In the stillness, the memory of King Meldh's voice seemed to speak to her. "Do not fight the pain. The more you resist the hurt, the greater it becomes. Breathe in the pain. Become one with it and you will reach your goal."